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    Eric McIntyre Makes his Debut

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    Eric McIntyre

    Posts : 5
    Join date : 2016-12-27
    Age : 15

    Eric McIntyre Makes his Debut

    Post by Eric McIntyre on Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:49 am

    "Drew McIntyre theme Broken Dreams Plays
    And the lights in the Arena Goes out"
    "Out of Time ,So say goodbye what is yours now is mines and I dream Broken dreams I make them come true" and as the music plays the Crowd goes wild as they see the hottest free agent Steven: "THAT'S ERIC MCINTYRE THE HOTTEST FREE AGENT HE'S HERE IN MEW AND WHAT AN OVATION BY THE CROWD IN THE ARENA."
    "Eric McIntyre Steps in the ring and asks for a mic,get the mic and gets ready to speak"

    Eric McIntyre: "You can stop cheering like your trying to look great OK, THIS IS MY MOMENT, I am the Broken Chosen One and."Crowd Boos McIntyre"
    Eric McIntyre: "SHUT UP And show some respect to your Future world champion."
    Eric McIntyre: I Am here to tell everyone that those guys on the back better watch out Cuz I'm here to destroy everyone anyone that gets in my way will be cut down
    Eric McIntyre:I want Hollow To come out
    "Hollow entrance theme plays in the arena"
    Half the crowd cheers and boos him as he walks to the ring"
    Lucy : what does McIntyre have to say to Hollow


    Eric McIntyre: I known you for a long time Hollow and you trained me and taught me a lot about this business,but I am on a level above you and better than you

    Hollow: if your better than me then prove it

    Eric McIntyre: Now now let's not get to that I'm not here to fight I'm here to talk

    "Crowd boos Eric McIntyre"

    Steven :McIntyre Grabs a fan and punches the fan in the face grabs the fan double underhooking the arms and putting the fan in the face lock and snaps down on the concrete floor hitting the future shock on the fan.
    Lucy: SOMEBODY GETS SOME HELP!!!!
    Steven:"And Hollow comes out the ring and tries to attack McIntyre,but runs away in a hurry."

    "Hollow taunts as the crowd goes wild"


    Last edited by Eric McIntyre on Fri Dec 30, 2016 1:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

    Trey Johnson

    Posts : 25
    Join date : 2016-12-25

    Re: Eric McIntyre Makes his Debut

    Post by Trey Johnson on Fri Dec 30, 2016 12:39 pm

    Couple of quick, things, good work.

    But did you ask Hollow to use him in this rp?
    If not can you take him out and redo it.

    Nd you need to add the commentators names.

    GM Nomad
    Admin

    Posts : 45
    Join date : 2016-12-24

    Re: Eric McIntyre Makes his Debut

    Post by GM Nomad on Mon Jan 02, 2017 10:08 pm

    A mysterious theme song Plays as the lights in the Arena Goes out. A man walks out and stands on top of the ramp. The crowd looks in confusion as his theme.song continues to play.

    "Out of Time ,So say goodbye what is yours now is mines and I dream Broken Dreams I make them come true" and as the music plays the Crowd goes wild as they see the hottest free agent

    Steven: "THAT'S ERIC MCINTYRE THE HOTTEST FREE AGENT HE'S HERE IN MEW AND WHAT AN OVATION BY THE CROWD IN THE ARENA."


    "Eric McIntyre walks down the ramp and walks towards the ring. Eric Mcintyre steps in the ring and asks for a mic, get the mic and gets ready to speak"

    Eric McIntyre: "You can stop cheering like your trying to look great OK, THIS IS MY MOMENT, I am the Broken Chosen One.

    "Crowd Boos McIntyre"

    Eric McIntyre: "SHUT UP And show some respect to your Future world champion."

    Eric McIntyre: I Am here to tell everyone that those guys on the back better watch out Cuz I'm here to destroy everyone anyone that gets in my way will be cut down, speaking of that I want Chip Skylark to come out.

    "Chip Skylark entrance theme plays in the arena"

    Half the crowd cheers and boos him as he walks to the ring"

    Lucy : What does McIntyre have to say to Chip.

    Eric McIntyre: I known you for a long time Chip and you trained me and taught me a lot about this business,but I am on a level above you and better than you

    Chip Skylark: if your better than me then prove it

    Eric McIntyre: Now now let's not get to that I'm not here to fight I'm here to talk

    "Crowd boos Eric McIntyre"

    Eric McIntyre Grabs a fan and punches the fan in the face grabs the fan double underhooking the arms and putting the fan in the face lock and snaps down on the concrete floor hitting the future shock on the fan.

    Lucy: SOMEBODY GET SOME HELP!!!!

    Chip comes out the ring and tries to attack McIntyre,but runs away in a hurry."


    " Chip taunts as the crowd goes wild and the camera fades.


    ^ i only editted your rp because it was very close and too hard to read. All close up. I alzo subbed out Hollow for Chip Skylark, to develop into a feud that can possibly be for a title he if develops nicely. Also i editted it in the beginning because its an introduction rp and it was hard to tell that first part was your music playing and not you speaking. I hope the edits are ok. I would like to see a reply.
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    Eric McIntyre

    Posts : 5
    Join date : 2016-12-27
    Age : 15

    Re: Eric McIntyre Makes his Debut

    Post by Eric McIntyre on Tue Jan 03, 2017 3:54 pm

    I like it its better than what I did with hollow
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    Eric McIntyre

    Posts : 5
    Join date : 2016-12-27
    Age : 15

    Re: Eric McIntyre Makes his Debut

    Post by Eric McIntyre on Tue Jan 03, 2017 3:58 pm

    Thank you so much

    GM Nomad
    Admin

    Posts : 45
    Join date : 2016-12-24

    Re: Eric McIntyre Makes his Debut

    Post by GM Nomad on Tue Jan 03, 2017 6:29 pm

    No problem man. Im here to help and teach Smile

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